Why am I here in this world? What am I supposed to do with my life? How can I bring the sense of fulfillment to myself? I am still journeying and learning, but I’ve started to unfold the answers as I tap more into my spirituality.
The sound journey from last night was life changing. My friend from the yoga training program Martin set up a sound healing space at his home with his wife Marie. They created a wonderful sound healing journey to the students in the yoga teacher training program. The session was conducted in person with folks in Bali and online with the U.S. group.
I was led to another dimension (multiple ones) during the session. It was a story that has been hidden in my soul for a long time. I activated part of them as my energy vibrated together with the powerful sound of Gong and then drifted towards another realm.
Coldness. Feeling cold chills galloping throughout my body as the Gong sound hit my energy field. It felt somewhat uncomfortable. I thought my body was going to catch a cold and wanted to grab an extra blanket. Then the coldness went away as I entered another level of consciousness.
Darkness. Coldness faded away as I entered the next level. There were no sensations in my body any more. My body was asleep in stillness and my mind was drifting. I could hear the sound of the Gong with Martin and Maries’ chanting, but I had no emotions when pure darkness surrounded me. It was not a fun place. It was dark, quiet, and different. A different space I’ve never seen before. It looked like a giant spider net with small molecules weaving together. If I have to compare that space to something I’ve seen, it looked more like the secret chamber hidden under the tree in the second Harry Potter movie. I wasn’t scared in that mysterious cosmos, but I was alone.
Maybe this is the place I will reach when I am dead? A place in the Universe so quiet and peaceful that puts me into hibernation mode, waiting to be reborn?
Then the darkness faded away and I saw nature. I saw a woman’s face imprinted on a tree. I believe she is Mother Nature. She is so beautiful, covered with the color of the earth with her hair intertwining into the branches of the tree. Then I heard kids playing and laughing in a backyard outside the house. I thought it was from Martin’s home, but he confirmed that there were no kids passing by the window during the session. When I heard the kid’s sound, a voice spoke up from the bottom of my heart and told me that they were my kids from the future. I will have a family in a beautiful house on a tropical island facing the sea. I will be the mother I’ve always wanted to be and I would enjoy the swinging of my days doing what I love with the company of my family and the kids. It was a lovely picture.
I was brought back to my body immediately as Martin and Marie started to sing “Long Time Sun” along with the guitar. My body was warm and I felt light and warmth flowing back to my limbs. Tears rolled down as the lyrics touched my heart:
“May the long time sun, shine above you. All love, surround you. And the pure light within you, guide your way on…”
I sat up straight and grabbed my yoga notebook immediately. Here are what I jotted down at the end of the session:
Only you, being human, can you feel the energies, emotions, and tremendous love. Anywhere else (outside the physical realm) is dark and emotionless.
Being human is to feel the flow of energy and yet still being YOU — the most beautiful creature, and the only creature that can bring lights, warmth, and love to this world.
The world needs YOU, because you are the light, warmth, and love.
Being human and adding love and light to this world. Only you can do this and you can only do it by being human.
I love this world. This beautiful warm world for me to create and share my inner voices. I was a piece of memory before I was born, searching for the colors of life and waiting for the moment of birth. I had so much wisdom and knowledge inside me, yearning to be shared and released. I lost them when I was born and it took me 12 years to be aware of what has been forgotten and what needs to be found. My life situations showed me the path to those memories. My emotions stirred my heart to heal. My body led me to places for variations and freedom. Everything around me and in me remembered the pieces of memories and worked hard to awake my soul.
Now here I am, a multi-faceted being doing so many things in this world and enjoying my own solitude. I’m not lonely. This awakened self is slowly rising from the ashes of the wounds and sharing its strong existence and learning to the world. There are so many stories to tell from her soul, one piece at a time, to one group each time, from one aspect of herself. She has got her entire human life to show the world her true nature: a radiating chromatic prism casting rainbows to the sky.
I am a floating messenger after birth, spreading love and hope to lost souls. I gradually gathered those pieces of memories and cobbled them together. When all memories are reclaimed, I will be at the end of this human journey, sleeping in peace and resting with content. I will give myself back to this earth, with beautiful stories shared and amazing creations made.
Namaste, to the opportunity of rebirth.
Namaste, to the ability to create.
Namaste, to be awake for another day of loving.